Being jilted almost-at-the-altar by text message is not at all how prim and proper Roxy Rose thought her wedding day would go. Getting dragged on her Hawaiian honeymoon by her excessively self-centered sister and outlandishly irreverent grandma is the icing on the horrible wedding day cake.
1. I despise whipped cream. There, I admitted it in writing. Let the ridiculing begin.
2. Even though I have lived as far south as Key Largo, Florida and as far north as Maine, I landed in the middle.
3. If I don’t make a conscious effort not to, I will drink nothing but tea morning, noon, and night. Hot tea, sweet tea, green tea – I love it all.
4. There doesn’t seem to be much in life that is better than coming home to a big dog who is overjoyed to see me. My other family members usually show significantly less enthusiasm about my return.
5. Singing in my bestest, loudest voice does not make my family put on their happy faces. This includes the big, loving dog referenced above.
6. Yes, I am aware that bestest is not a word.
7. Dorothy was right. There’s no place like home.
8. All of the numerous bottles in my shower must be lined up with their labels facing out. It makes me feel a little like Julia Roberts’ mean husband from the movie ‘Sleeping with the Enemy,’ but I can’t seem to control this particular quirk.
9. I love, love, love finding a great bargain.